Hanuman shook his head roughly. He
had never seen such beauty as when he looked at Sita. But that was Rama’s Sita. Rama adored her, and that
was what this whole war was about. Hanuman tried to comfort himself with the
idea that his head was dizzy from all the perfume and women he had just
encountered in Ravana’s chambers. But deep down Hanuman knew. He had fallen
deeply in love with Sita, upon first site, and he would never recover. Hanuman,
good at heart, incapable of a transgression, now loved another man’s wife. But
he would not act on it. He refused! He would help Rama regain his lovely wife
and live mate less for the rest of eternity if he had to, but he would never do
anything to wrong Rama. He would never tell anyone of his unrequited love. The
only way he would ever illustrate the love he harbored for her would be the
fierce protection with which he guarded her.
As he hid in the tree above Sita,
he saw Ravana entering his grove to speak with Sita. As the conversation
progressed, Hanuman grew more in awe of this lovely woman he saw before him.
Despite being covered in dirt, thin from fasting, and tortured in all kinds of
ways, she held fast to her innocence. She resisted the incredible Ravana, and
only thought of her husband. Why, she was the essence of loyalty and
femininity. Hanuman’s reverence was quickly interrupted with a fierce form of
anger when the Rakshasis began tormenting his poor Sita. No, Rama’s Sita. His
heart turned hard and he clenched the branch beneath him so hard there were
claw marks deeply engrained in the wood. He poised to jump in and rescue her,
all sense or thought of future consequences lost, when an elderly Rakshasa
stepped in. He took a calming breath and sense once more visited his mind. If
he had revealed himself, everything would be ruined. He waited patiently until
all of the Rakshasis had left the grove.
Finally, Hanuman announced his
presence to Sita. He introduced himself as Rama’s servant, and his heart ached
when Sita burst into tears at Rama’s name. 99% of Hanuman’s good golden heart
ached to see a woman in such pain, and heartache from her lost love, but there
was that 1%. That sad 1% that was jealous and wishful that a woman such as Sita
would cry like that over him. He shook his head again, clearing it. As he and
Sita talked low and confidingly, he slowly grew bigger with the happiness her
presence was causing him. Her sweet smell and bell-like voice were headier than
any drink or lotus flower. He kept having to blink his eyes and shuffle to
focus on what they were saying. Sita’s conversation only consisted of Rama.
Finally, she did it. The final act that Hanuman knew sealed his fate and his
heart. She smiled her smile at him. The earth-shattering, heavenly white,
deeply warm smile that could only come from the daughter of the earth. Hanuman felt
something sear inside of himself, and he knew he would never be the same. And
Hanuman did not have a single problem with that.
Author's Note: Hanuman visited Sita in Lanka as a messenger from Rama, on a quest to discover Sita's whereabouts. Although Buck's Ramayana illustrates a very deep love for both Sita and Rama by Hanuman, and a deep appreciation for Sita's beauty by Hanuman, there is no romantic interest indicated in the original epic. To me, it seemed more reminiscent of a mother-son relationship. However, I found this to be an interesting take on their relationship, which was indeed a special one.
Bibliography: Buck, William (1976). Ramayana: King Rama's Way
