I feel weak. I have always felt disadvantaged, but never
weak. I am a king, for Christ’s sake. I have 100 sons and excellent
counsellors. I have a stunning wife who serves me in every way. I have
countless chambers of women ready to please me. I have never let my blindness
stop me from being the king I was born to be. So this new feeling, this feeling
of no control and disapproval from my friends, this is not okay. I cannot
handle the way Vidura talks to me these days. To me, the inflection of the
voice is everything. It is all I have. I have the touch of my wife and the
warmth of the son, but to really judge how a person feels about me, it is all
in their voice. Not even in the words they say, no. In the manner which they
say them. I do not need sight to tell when someone is deceiving me. I do not
need sight to tell when someone is smiling or weeping. I have heard the
inflection of admiration, of awe, of love, but never of this horrible
disapproval I am getting from Vidura. I know I have always been partial to my
son Duryodhana, but he is a good boy, bless him. I know the prophecy, that he
would be the end of our race. I was not blind to the way he howled like a
jackal as a child. I knew there was something wrong. But he was my first born,
and I could not bear to part with him. He is brilliant. He will do awesome
things. Terrible, but awesome things. I am afraid I will always let him into my
heart, and therefore my decisions. Vidura does not understand that, I am afraid.
Listen to the way he chides me. He has always spoken too bluntly to his king. I
keep on distracting him with questions of life, destiny, and death. It is a
salve for my soul. He keeps on telling me how I need to abandon Duryodhana, but
I know in my heart I will never do this. So I distract him for a moment. I can
tell he is getting tired, and even Vidura’s knowledge is not limitless. Aha! I
have finally asked him a question he does not know the answer to. Now the
inflection has changed. That is so much better, to listen to him struggle for
an answer. Maybe now he will drop the subject of abandoning my son, and I can
rest.
Dhritarashtra and Duryodhana
Image Source
Author's Note: I am fascinated by Dhritarashtra's character. He was a strong and respected king, but so foolishly partial to his son. He allowed his son to persecute the Pandava's for years, and did nothing about it. I constantly wondered what was going on in his mind, and so I elaborated just a little bit on it in this story.
Narayan, R. K. (1978). The Mahabharata: A Shortened Modern Prose Version of the Indian Epic.
Wow Marielle! I enjoyed your story so much. I agree with you when you said that Dhritarashtra was a fascinating character. He really is, and I always wanted to try and tap into is mine more and find out his thoughts. I think that a monologue was perfect for your story. Great story!
ReplyDeleteHello again!
ReplyDeleteI liked your story. Any story with internal musings such as this make for an interesting insight into the character. You might consider expanding your author’s note; it is very short!
You might also consider changing the expression at the beginning of your story, “for Christ’s sake”… These Epics came about LONG before Jesus Christ did, which is where that expression comes from, so it feels rather out of place both in the time period and the culture.